Entries in facepalm (7)

Tuesday
Jul132010

Real Housewife Meltdown of New Jersey (Teresa Trash and Goombah Joe)

Note: For (those who can simulate being) U.S. viewers, I included the episode via Hulu embed, which I will remove when it expires.

 Teresa GiudiceThis episode (season 2 ep. 10) was filmed many months ago in the fall of 2009, around the time of Teresa’s husband’s other property foreclosure, one of Joe’s many construction / speculation boondoggles. That’s why Teresa was so upset that Danielle dug up dirt on a foreclosure, and why Teresa wanted to punish her.

I’m not inclined to discuss the “Danielle problem.” I find her extremely pathetic and boring. The most interesting thing about her is that her daughters have that weary, worried appearance of waif children who are forced to take an adult role. They successfully dissuaded Danielle from a drive-by stalking.

Danielle is a fame-seeking would-be tragic figure whose real tragedy is her shallowness, her delusions of grandeur, and her pathetic mis-use of the legal system. Excuse me, but I can imagine anyone murdering Danielle out of sheer exasperation — but I’m sure the jury would be sympathetic.

Danielle should not be such a big problem for the other housewives. Teresa doesn’t seem frightened by Danielle. Quite the contrary. In this episode Teresa was not trying to “be nice” at all. She started out saying what a sweet nice person she herself is, except for Danielle making her a table-tosser. Hey Teresa did no one ever tell you you’re not supposed to say those things about yourself even if they’re true? And if they aren’t, you appear crass, self-absorbed, and deluded.

Yeah honey, you’re so sweet, you immediately became shrill, foul-mouthed trash, saying “old hag” and “b*tch” about a million times. And sweetie, using this language with people you aren’t close to is meant to be a put-down, you nasty little piece of work. Do you read me, doll-face?

It must be said, here Teresa resembles no one as much as a low-class drag queen or project diva going off on a rival, reading her beads, after some dust-up over a boyfriend or coveted fashion accessory.

It turns out Teresa must really be from a poor background, because she’s very proud of her “5 million dollar mansion” which is worth a fraction of that and does seem like a poor, uneducated person’s idea of elegance. Freddie two-fingers’ gay cousin probably didn’t help much with the interior.

Teresa and husband Joe

The 11 million dollar bankruptcy is much more recent, was apparently filed days after the other foreclosure, so I’m very confused about the timeline and Teresa’s insistence that their “dream home” wasn’t foreclosed. Zillow says otherwise, in a piece dated June 7, 2010. Here’s a June 5 piece at the New York Post if you must.

The bankruptcy is in large part a bunch of mortgages, construction loans and “renovation” debts where Joe left sub-contractors holding the bag when some ridiculously priced goombah palace wouldn’t sell. I was under the impression that credit card debt isn’t forgiven anymore with any kind of bankruptcy, so that will be interesting. The other possibility is Joe did make some money, “tax free” ha ha, and buried it in the back yard.

I’m giving it four stars for schadenfreude, nastiness,  name-calling, hair-pulling and evidence of a nation in serious decline. E un uomo d’affari e imprenditore di successo! While searching for an image of Joe Giudice, Google suggested I search for “Joe Giudice construction mafia.” Enjoy!

 

 

UPDATE: These clips from Bravo TV won’t expire 

 

Teresa and Joe deserve a full IRS investigation. Teresa’s lie that the bankruptcy is Joe’s and his partner’s is pathetic, since it includes her outrageous spending. It’s a personal bankruptcy, hers and Joe’s and no one else’s. She should stop hurling insults like “coke whore” since she could be called a “mafiosa guidette.”

Teresa is quite the liar, as she recounts her disgusting behavior for her husband. Her response to a fact which she refuses to acknowledge is to hurl nasty insults. She should try to throw less bitch rocks since she lives in a foreclosed glass house. Didn’t some Housewife “sing” about how money can’t buy you class? It can however buy classes in subjects like civil discourse, conflict resolution, public relations, ethical behavior, civics. Hell, she needs to take English to learn how to hurl a better class of insult. 

Apparently this is a grifter scam, timing their bankruptcy carefully and filing papers that are chock-full of outrageous lies. A pity her character betrays the scam, since the first mention of “foreclosure” in front of the cameras is enough to send her over the edge.  NJ.com has more from June 7, right after the New York Post discovered their bankruptcy papers.

Thursday
Mar182010

Millionaire Matchmaker and lazy green-washed eco-bullcrap (everyone hearts Douglas)

Hulu: Millionaire Matchmaker (Patti Stanger)

Hulu: Douglas and Nicole (Season 3 Ep. 8)  (44:06)

Amazon: Douglas and Nicole (Season 3 Ep. 8)

 

[Yay. Finally a relevant Hulu ad. Pity I already got the Nexus One.]

 

Douglas is superlative: the most shallow, uninformed, eco-poseur I have ever run across.

He was in some finance field until recently; now he expounds on the evils of beef (over chicken!) to his date, who is from another culture. Doug probably took a few hours or days to acquire his eco-religion and “his friends all know” that ordering beef is bad! Doug demands that people meet his high eco-standard: they must “try” to reduce their carbon footprint, and maybe purchase a hybrid SUV. I almost forgot these turds pearls of Doug idiocy wisdom:

David ordering red meat in front of me was a little disturbing…. Everyone knows that red meat, or meat that comes from red animals, are… is much more damaging to the environment.

Seriously. Minute 41:00. Then, “I’m not that schooled on the whole process.” Yes, the “process” of sanctimonious preaching from your pulpit of eco-garbage.

Based on all that who can be sure his clothing line isn’t actually green-washed in the Marianas Islands, or made by little children? Doug is the poster child for all that is wrong with eco-stupid. You can literally slap a sticker on anything and that’s good enough for Doug. He can’t be bothered to learn the difference between non-toxic and green-washed toxic. He’s got a clothing line to design and produce! You can compost these clothes immediately! I’m sure that’s smarter than wearing them.

What do you think about this “hottie” who absolutely everyone is “interested in” (really?) He’s not bad-looking… except when he opens his mouth. Then I just see a self-absorbed ignoramus, and that totally ruins the illusion.

Say what you will about Patti the Reality TV yenta. She certainly had Douglas’ number right away, and so did her employee Destin. Doug denied he was boring, and said that Destin was bored because Destin isn’t gay. Sorry Miss Doug: the straight boy got you pegged.

Oh sorry Patti I was in the middle of a photo shoot… I’m modeling for my own clothing line!

Patti: “Looks fade but dumb is forever.”

If Doug decides dumb is not for him, and wants to make a real go of this business, he needs to get some remedial education. Chemistry and sustainable business courses are offered many places. Doug can educate himself, or remain the “pretty face” who refers all serious questions to his “science-y guy” who knows a few,things.

Sunday
Jan102010

Religion v Science debate about God (with criticism and suggestions)

UPDATE


I forgot to express sufficient gratitude that the esteemed Professor Cowburn has graced us with his kind “belief in evolution.” Without that, we’d be listening to him drone on
endlessly about how God punishes our hubris by his Making of the Fake Fossils on the Sixth Day. The horror. 

A televised debate from November 2009 in London, followed by criticism and suggestions 

Sponsored ad

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The debate

The biggest problem with this debate is the question. It didn’t really go anywhere interesting, nor did it seem to sway anyone in the audience (largely Christian, as it was held in a church.) I think the sub-text to all of Cowburn’s statements is an attempt to refute Dawkins’ “God is a delusion and religion is a virus” thesis.

Viewers should disregard any claims by Professor Cowburn that he is a humble garden-variety Christian. His smirk and air of self-satisfaction betray an absolute certainty in his righteousness, but in the end, high self-esteem and expertise in nano-technology don’t by themselves prove that “God and science go together.” Cowburn experienced an independent religious conversion to Christianity at age 18, presumably away from the “normal” British secularism of his family. Unfortunately, we don’t know if Cowburn is a Papist or Evangelical Protestant or what. He does seem to want everyone to accept Jeebus as God’s proxy, being such an important “pinch point.”

New rule: don’t coin new words and phrases to make your argument. If you say “pinch point” for example, your opponent may challenge the term. Should it be missing from the dictionary, your opponent may then use it freely to mean anything he wants — but you may not.

Criticism of the arguments

  • Overstating what can be expected from science makes a convenient straw-man argument to easily shoot down. I agree that science can’t answer Cowburn’s question “Does my wife love me?” but considering general infidelity rates, I think a better question with a more useful answer would be “Does my wife love me more than the milkman?”
  • Cowburn shows his ignorance of applied science in military matters with his silly example “what does science say about the war in Iraq?” Intelligence gathering, threat evaluation and war “gaming” all use state-of-the art “science” as does the field of game theory. It’s only recently that a computer won against a chess grand master; perhaps Cowburn would rather everyone pray for guidance rather than attempt a rigorous answer to the Iraq war question. His obvious unstated opinion is that his faith gives him moral superiority, and hence he can answer the question better than “science.” All of which is utter nonsense, of course. Cowburn is also apparently ignorant of what the Downing Street memo proved: that the “Iraq war” wasn’t a question to be posed, but a given around which everything else was to be choreographed
  • For believers, “proving” a Supreme Being exists or seeking such proof could be seen as an sign of weak faith. If you know Jeebus is your personal savior, why prove anything? Doesn’t that imply you haven’t completely given yourself over to your Messiah?
  • I dislike the implication that hard science and religious dogma are the only things of use to nurture civil society. It’s important to inform your arguments with the best knowledge and information at hand, and realize that your argument must persuade regardless of faith or lack of it
  • I found the claims about Jesus proving God, endorsing Abraham & subsuming all Abrahamic faiths, ridiculous. Cowburn realized his error later in the debate, and claimed “Jesus proves the existence of the Abrahamic God” which I find ridiculous still, but coherent (a well-formed theorem, but false)
  • I dislike the fact that this religious argument admits no possible errors in the doctrine, and makes no attempt to separate valuable human parables from completely outdated social policies. I’d rather people didn’t ask everyone to accept their “miracles” and genesis myths as factual. Second- and third-hand accounts, accounts recorded decades after events, language muddled through multiple translations, and suppression of unpopular accounts must be dealt with honestly
  • Cowburn misstates the Atheist position regarding the existence of a divine dictator. A request that extraordinary evidence accompany extraordinary claims is quite different from the notion that the existence of said dictator has been or can be disproved. This is elementary logic and rhetoric, and a cynical attempt to rebut an argument that was never made. The impossibility of proving a negative is well-known and quite tedious regarding the question “does God exist?” The more interesting issue is whether one thinks the existence of God is provable in the affirmative at all. Cowburn apparently thinks it is, and his proof is his personal conversion to Christianity via the New Testament (King James edition?) at age 18. Hallelujah, praise be, yada yada. Snore.

Possibly related suggestions

Try to get as far away from this anti-example as you can (stick around for the intro to evolution concepts)

Headless transcript: mumble has become mumble from mumbletypeg. Correct? A has become A from A’. Correct? You have become yourself from your parent. Correct?
I wish I could count past the one after one. I hate the idea of meeting my great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather at the zoo. Our ancestors are lurking around waiting to stab us in a dark alley, dirty clever gorillas. Or lemurs. Or benobo. Or is it monkeys?
Are we marsupials or insects? I’m confused! Man is a manimal, and so is a whale, but not shark week. Sharks are like water snakes, cold blooded! When can I get a manimarsupial pouch for my cell phone? Sign me up, forget that river crap!

 

  • Comparative religion and the history of religion deserve more study. Was it the Franciscans and the Catholics that had the epic battle and split over whether Jeebus had a purse? Yes, more or less: Wikipedia: Apostolic Poverty (I’m pleased I remembered that factoid)
  • The fracturing of at least 2 of the big 3 religions into conflicting orders and sects shows me that regardless of which lucky religion (if any) holds the magic key to the pearly gates, it isn’t a discernable fact and should never be used as an argument for or against any proposition. It is a sin of pride, false judgment and hubris to regard another as inferior because of a difference in faith. Faith is largely an accident of birth — most commonly it is inherited from your family and community. How cruel it would be if the other (roughly) two thirds of humans lost the coin toss, and will be eternally damned because their parents were Pastafarians. Is the divine dictator benevolent if he gives you at best a one-in-three chance for salvation? Are we but chips on a divine Craps table that He is gambling with cynically?
  • A person who claims their faith commands them to forcibly convert all others to it risks forgetting the lessons of history and guarantees a grim future
  • Dogma reformation can be and has been accomplished. Literal, fundamentalist interpretation of ancient dogma is too common. Articles of faith are not “true” but instead are possibly relevant or valuable to modern human society. Often these articles are “religious” commands requiring or forbidding garments, personal grooming, body exposure, sex, flirtation, visibility of ankles, discussions of items like these, appeals to an elder, stonings, castings out, ad lib infinitum. These are ancient relics, useful only to bind you together with a false cord. Please look harder to see what’s relevant. It might not matter that you do things a certain way.  It probably matters more that you all follow strict rules, eat the same diet and worship together. It’s even more relevant if you are thousands strong in a giant crystal cave on a mountain top, with a tall masculine leader who claims to be your new Messiah come to Earth to lead you in battle! Please call me immediately and reverse the charges should this happen. This is both valuable and relevant — and quite rare thankfully
  • First leave your dogma with the cat and then please argue your position on HIV prevention, birth control, and the like and explain how it is applicable to all affected humans of all (or no) faiths
  • Last I checked we are all human, regardless of genetic differences. Let us not allow our brothers and sisters and our tiny blue dot to suffer outrageous harm, acts of genocidal violence, terrorism and wholesale damage to delicate ecosystems. And let us not become ideological extremists serving some fervently misguided cause (i.e. Earth Liberation Front, P.E.T.A. 
  • Let us strive to avoid becoming “protest addicts” who would rather yell at strangers with a bullhorn than have a debate on the merits of policy

Fair warning

  • The survival through 2009 of the 9/11 conspiracies in the U.S. is a sign that many people are becoming less interested in “objective reality.” By “objective reality” I mean (roughly) reasonable, coherent determination of causes, effects, motives and threats
  • The “tower of Babel” is quickly being brought down by technology. In its place is being constructed a grand temple of all faiths past and present, with Beelzebub collecting the exorbitant rent, payable only in human blood, to be sure
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apostolic_poverty
Tuesday
Dec082009

Mail from an Angry Young Atheist (I am a disgrace)

I’m quite willing to accept that some people aren’t prepared for life without god and/or religion.

That Marvin [not his real name] apparently has anti-social tendencies and hostility for large swaths of the population is much more of a concern to me than whether or not he is religious. He’s well past his teen angst years, and much too young to make a habit of statements such as “I do not care if the world ends tomorrow.”

I’m just going to have to assume that he has found no salvation in Atheism, and that Atheism has disappointed him deeply. I urge him to try to find in himself some kindness, humility and empathy for others, however he can. The argument I make is that one can be a civil, moral and ethical person without the crutch of any religion, dogma or label. A sense of humor goes a very long way, but he doesn’t betray one, more’s the pity. More things he does very well, that he didn’t mention:

  • Compliment himself, without reason to;
  • Denigrate others without giving sufficient reason

“Whiny, disagreeable and emotionally incompetent” describes everyone in some group except him. I don’t think he should be so hard on himself - I’m sure he could be that way if he tried hard. Wait a minute! His rant below is whiny, disagreeable and emotionally incompetent. I think he doesn’t want any group that would have him as a member. It does seem he suffers from common problems — excessive hubris, impatience, intolerance of differing opinions, and inability to negotiate and argue successfullly.

Marvin: (not his real name)

As purely an exercise in acidic hyperbole and sarcasm, let me respond to you.

On Sat, Dec 5, Marvin wrote: [emphasis mine]
I used to be a member of the [place elided] Atheists and now I am a sometimes- participant in [place elided] atheist meetings since moving here to complete my PhD. I have been a philosophically well read atheist with anti-theist leanings since perhaps the age of 7.  
Fortunately, there is no purity test or academic requirement for adopting the label “Atheist” or “Anti-theist.”
The purpose of this e-mail is to address the angry, frustrated comments of this ongoing e-mail debate accusing people of being too atheistic, not atheistic enough, too conservative, not conservative enough etc. 
You perceive frustration and anger — is that a complaint, or just an observation? I wish you would have made an affirmative statement as to what you want out of the group, or “ongoing email debate.”
I say the following as an academic in training, as someone with an intelligence, an intellectual background and an ability to articulate that far surpasses that of my peers - I am almost entirely indifferent to the social happenings of my country. I have never voted in any of the mid-term or presidential elections, I have opinions but a distaste for political activism in regards to gay marriage, abortion rights, universal healthcare, women’s rights, labor unions/work reform and any and all international disputes between our country and any other. I am, with the exception of my family and very close friends, indifferent to the suffering of others.
What a terrible burden to be so much more gifted than one’s peers. At least you aren’t over-burdened with modesty. I’m afraid I can’t accept your ridiculous level of cynicism, since you don’t give the reason you became so embittered and indifferent. I suppose you may feel it’s your “right” because we live in a “free country.”

I think you should reconsider your extreme position. If you plan on working in academia, I doubt your churlish attitude will get you very far. At the very least you should give better reasons for refusing to do your basic civic duty.
I do not care if the world ends tomorrow so long as my family and I do not suffer. If my family were threatened I would kill whoever threatened them without a flicker of conscience.
So I take it you don’t blame your family for your bitterness. These statements are so repellent and upsetting I can only assume you were grievously harmed. If you are suicidal, please talk to someone. I think you should talk to someone about being “indifferent to the suffering of others,” and how you justify “kill[ing] whoever threatened them without a flicker of conscience.”
My only hope as a young atheist growing up was to find some group where I belonged that offered a significant degree of solidarity without intellectual and emotional disparagement. This is the hope of all humans to a greater or lesser degree. As an atheist, groups such as this one were, for a long time, something I hoped to find brotherhood and companionship in. Alas, no matter how “intellectual” and socially “sophisticated” atheists and academics claim to be, they are, in every instance, whiny, disagreeable and emotionally incompetent. I have, as I said, more or less withdrawn from all social circles as atheist groups are not the only groups, of course, to allow an emergent tribalism and exclusivity to dominate relations. This is also the very reason I ignore and dismiss political activism.
 
I am 23 years old. I represent the new generation of atheists very well - indifferent, disillusioned and resentful. You atheist americans that came before me are a disgrace and have soiled the potential that atheism offers.
 
Marvin
You claim to be of superior intelligence well-educated and yet are uniquely cold and amoral for someone of your years.
 

What a nasty dismissive and unsupportable little comment you ended with there. At the very least, you should support your argument that “You Atheist Americans that came before me are a disgrace and have soiled the potential that atheism offers.”

On the other hand, please don’t. You’ve already managed to appall me and bore me at the same time.

Sincerely,

Richard

P.S. Heaven have mercy on your soul! I certainly have no such obligation.

whiny, disagreeable and emotionally incompetent.
Wednesday
Nov252009

Facepalm videos (Christian side hug, thanks digidave)

I curate the *facepalm* friendfeed archives, but that has slowed down because of FriendFeed’s uncertain future. So, when my friend @digidave shared “Christian Side Hug” (embedded below), there was a certain descriptive tag I could not avoid. Subsequently I filled out my facepalm collection from other sources, and the new facepalm video gallery is embedded at the bottom. If you have notable facepalm videos or other media, feel free to let me know by reply on twitter ( @reechard ) or by email (on the right sidebar.)

The comedy is unintentional. There are lots of contradictions here, but I can’t decide where to start. Nice gunshot ending. A pity there weren’t bullets. The sirens would be the arrival of the “criminally stupid rap appropriation” police squad.

 

The Video Gallery may not work on certain browsers, so here’s a link that will serve as an alternate:

vodpod.com/reechard/softmachineother/tag/facepalm